Blog Post #96 - D= S-M An equation which reveals the secret to happiness and meaning of life answering the question - What is the purpose of my/your life?

He who knows the "why" for his existence, will be able to bear almost any "how!                                      Nietzsche

Fair Warning - 

If you are not serious to read a length and boring post about life,suffering,pain,death and meaning of life - go back to your app or browser and look for something fun or come back for another post (close this one).

This is deep and serious discussion. 

Kids stay away - you are not ready . 

Fun seeking  adults and Kids at heart who want to just have fun- stay away. 

This is a discussion about what I gathered from Victor Frank's - 
"Man's search of meaning" .

He wrote a book tiled Man's search for meaning and not women's search for meaning.

He didn't want to be politically correct writing 
(Wo)Man's search for meaning - He/she - man/women et all. 

His book does cover strategies for both for man and woman. 

May be men want to find meaning in life and women don't need a book like this (this is obviously in praise of women!) or Women give so much trouble to men that men seek meaning while women seek pleasure in making men search meaning ( this is obviously derogatory for women!). 

I will not take a stand on this and it is up to you to read this book at decipher the answer!

He who knows the "why" for his existence will be able to bear almost any "how

 -Nietzsche's quote which is quoted many times by Victor Frankl in the book.


But the question still remains

What is the purpose of my/your life?


Viktor Frankl survived the most inhuman Auschwitz concentration camp and in his book the following is my favorite part 

We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. — P.65-66

(from http://www.rightwingnews.com/quotes/the-best-quotes-from-viktor-frankls-mans-search-for-meaning/) 

All these are great philosphies but still the question remains - 

What is the purpose of my/your life?

Here is the answer before you read the rest of the post ( If you are like me you will have less patience yelling -just tell me what is it! I have more face book posts to like and tweets to follow)

Frankl points to three ways ­ the "meaning triangle:" 
1. Creativity 2. Experiencing 3. Change of attitude

(http://www.voidspace.org.uk/psychology/logotherapy.shtml)

Let's explore more-

1. Creativity - 

• Giving something to the world through self-expression: 
• using our talents in various ways; i.e., the work we do, 
• the gifts we give to life

2. Experiencing  receiving from the world: 

• Through nature
• Culture
• Relationships
• Interactions with others and with our environment

When you die and you will die for sure - you will just me a memory - a faint idea.
 If you were famous you will be in textbooks and other books depending on what you created. Your music might be played - recall ode to Joy from Beethoven or Pancharatna Keerthanas by Thyagaraja (this is ofcourse my favourite piece of music).

 You may be survived by your painting - Mono Lisa or a Sculpture - David at Florence. 

There may be a dome on top of your grave and it may become famous like Taj Mahal (remember it is a dead queen whose loss was significant for her husband that he built a temple of love!). 

Pyramids and computer - hardware(dell,hp) and software(microsoft,facebook) - all these are human creations. 

You may leave behind a poem , a novel , a building and some children.

If you are not famous that does not mean you should not create.

If you are not planning to be famous that doesn't mean you shouldn't create.

If you dont want to be famous you still have to create.

       and for sure - If you want to be famous you have to create!!!

    Sivakumar Manikanteswaran

 What will you create? 

When you die and you will die for sure - and before you do - you need to experience things and people.

You can experience people leaving them with memories. 

You can experience travel for yourself and your soul - making you happy. 

You can endure suffering and joy for yourself.


What will you experience ?

You can see Victor Frank in this video Link to understand some more of his thought process and legotheraphy. Legos means Meaning. Legotheraphy is finding meaning. 

3. I don't agree or understand how the change of attitude is considered part of meaning triangle. 

I don't want to argue why Victor Frank is wrong in presenting that change of attitude as meaning of life . 

My philosophy in life is this- if you cannot do something productive don't attack the person or the views of people who want to be productive. 

So I present what is discussed in the book below -

You don't have to undergo the stress of a concentration camp or POW situation to understand his concept and here is something he quotes from his interactions

"Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now how could I help him? What should I tell him? I refrained from telling him anything, but instead confronted him with a question, "What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive without you?:" "Oh," he said, "for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!" Whereupon I replied, "You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it is you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her." He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left the office

From Wikipedia

This is very interesting where once you change your attitude you find a meaning. 

May be this is what he tried explaining as change of attitude. 

Everyone encounters pain or death of their near and dear ones and at that time it is critical to recall the above story to change attitude.

How will you change your attitude?

I found few things from the video that were interesting to me and after completing the audio book I want to summarize few key points from his book.


1. What is the answer to "Why me" when you encounter pain,guilt and death
2. What is the meaning of the equation D=S-M 
3. Why you will never be happy if you want to be happy? 

Let's start with Hillel's quotes who is credited with the following 2 quotes 

"If I am not for myself who is for me? And being for my own self, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

"Golden Rule": "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn."




(From Catholic.com

Torah comes from the Hebrew word for "law" and refers to the first five books of the Bible: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy—also known as the Pentateuch. The word torah is used also to refer to the scroll of parchment on which the Pentateuch is written. The scroll is considered a sacred liturgical object in synagogues and is often richly decorated and given other marks of respect. In Orthodox Judaism, the Torah also can refer to the entirety of the law, both in written form (Scripture and other sacred writings) and in oral Tradition.

When we as Catholics refer to the Old Testament, we are referring to all forty-six books of the Bible written before Christ, including the first five that the Jews call the Torah.)

Now the answers to the questions

1. Why me? -  You were not chosen to undergo something terrible. Everyone and I mean everyone from Buddha to Bill Gates , Mark Twain to Mark Zuckenberg, Steve Jobs to the Jobs lovers all have to suffer, Pain,Guilt and Death are inescapable.  So the question is not why me but why shouldn't it be me this time!

The Buddhist philosophy talks about this as follows  ( I am not asking you to become a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Hindu but to consider truth from all religions to understand meaning of your life - not that of the saints but of (y)ours)

2. What is the meaning of the equation D=S-M 

Despair(D) = Suffering(S) - Meaning(M). 

This is what Victor Frankl explains in his video as everything will look useless or you will experience despair as long as you don't find a meaning. 

The key is the last variable in this equation Meaning(M).

3. Why you will never be happy if you want to be happy? 

If you find the meaning - you can have negative despair = happiness. Again do recall you can never be happy - title of this post. Why do I say that - I said that because I read that in this book and in other books that you can never be happy.

You can get moments of happiness as a byproduct of either creating or experiencing or changing your attitude and as long as you try to be happy you never will be. 

Happiness is not a end or neither a means but a mere by-product that you get while performing your duty. 

Recall the quote aboce by Hillel ( he is Jewish and this is in book of elders according to google!)

If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when? 

Unless  you do what you are supposed to do - like what Krishna points out in Bhagawat Gita in Hinduism and explains about Karma Yoga - doing your duty without considering the fruits or the same - unless you do it for others and unless you do it now - you will not be happy.

Keep Living (not existing)
Sivakumar Manikanteswaran

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