Friday, January 31, 2014

Blog Post #64 - Winning ,Losing - Lying and Cheating

It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” 
― George Washington


When we were  in the chess tournament last Saturday,Jan 25th 2014 a parent stopped by Arnav and said it is not Winning or Losing that matters. What does matter is you enjoy the game.

I was thinking - really?
My Philosophy has been win the damn thing. Whether you like it or not. Once a slacker always a slacker. There are no points worth showing for not winning. You get valuable lessons but they are useless unless you use those to win. The point is to Win.

The takeaway I have from life and books is all about winners. Winners get Medals,Trophy,bigger paycheck,higher degrees,peaceful life,trophy spouse(not to be confused with trophies) and a Flat tummy.

What?

Yes.  A Flat Tummy. Majority of People high in hierarchy in society have healthy life and a flat tummy. Lower income people and people with stress at the bottom of the food chain eat poorly work mundane stuff and get bigger tummy. (Don't guess my tummy size!..just read the blog)

Three researches - one from UK from department of labor, a Stanford university professor's research in Savannah - the wild wild african sub sahara and lab experiments in research facility (google for or watch 'stress the silent killer' in netflix) have confirmed this theory. Alpha characters get more dopamine more endorphin  more testosterone (needed for both male and female primates and humans) and keeps them healthy and stress free.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche


When I was on an assignment to Mumbai in 2003 I met a VP in GTL Navi Mumbai and asked him how come he was slim trim and smiling while we had tight deadlines and his company was bound by contract to deliver. He said oh. That is because I take the work and delegate tension to lower level employees . So true. You don't need UK labor dept,primates and Stanford to confirm the theory about healthy life in top and bottom of food chain.

Bottom line - next time when you are in an all hands in an office meeting, when you see a presidential candidate (forget vice presidential candidates) in US, National figures in any country,International leaders in UN - most have a healthy chemical mix in their body to regulate . Exceptions are not the rules.

Check the picture below











Life is not fair - a friends daughter once said "It's not fair".

My friend and myself said - who said life has to be fair?
Most of us like to win. Kids cry when they lose. Adults do too.

As a race(human race) we like to win.
The secret is to redefine success. Lost an interview. Add score to persistence.
Didn't get a good performance review - attend a Dale Carnegie course.

The fear for most of us should be not to die with a song in the heart.

Henry David Thoreau quote — 'Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

Hey The quotes are always for men not for women don't ask me and go get planchet or ouija board and talk to his ghost. Here is how one of those boards look





I observed a child cheat in chess today. I asked him to correct it (as my son would have lost if I didn't). We like to win at all cost. Not just that child but all of us.

Is it acceptable to cheat?
It is acceptable to Lie?

If I opened your linked in profile and look - did you do all the stuff that you said you did? Save the company money,get your country out of recession and save the lady,dog and her cat while fixing her issue (Brand loyalty stuff).

Think twice? We all have a limit of what is acceptable lie and not acceptable lie?

Did you have affair with that lady? The answer still resonates even after Clinton left office around the globe. People don't like when other people lie. But do they like when they lie?

What did you tell your manager when you were late? What did you tell you spouse when you didn't get the stuff that you promise you will do? What did you tell your child why she can't have that toy?

I sometimes hear parents says we don't have money so we wont buy the toy. Really?
I tell my kid we are rich and have lots of money and I choose not to give you money to buy this silly toy. He learned the lesson.

While we were in the chess tournament another chess coach approached Arnav and asked him to stop bragging about his 3 consecutive wins  and asked if he wants to be coached for a fee.

Since the coach who asked this was a desi software background guy you can assume he was as rich as most of us and he was just kidding. My son turned around and said 'Play with me. I have lots of money more than 200,000 and I won't give you any of that to teach me". I was impressed. That's how rich people are - have a lot and don't want to give any.

Sometimes kids learn stuff quick and practice while I think thrice to give $1 to the homeless fearing and arguing why how he might use this money and letting him know that I don't have 'change'. I am not sure if I can change but I hope to raise my kids (both of them) more honest than me.

Research points out that some lying to ourselves is necessary. Top sportsmen ,lawyers and other professional keep motivating themselves by claiming they are the best (to themselves). What was observed in brain scans was they have more gray matter .

Here is a fact - for a kid(or a kid in you) to lie - you need to know the truth and the lie. Now you need to cover up the lie with more lies. So in effect you need 2 tracks to be maintained in the brain. Top swimmers even if they are of same or equal fitness lie to themselves they are better than the other swimmer even while observing the other swimmer swim better than them. It helps the swimmer to cheat/lie to themselves that they are good and really better than the other player and it lets them wins.

With superbowl around the corner watch the offense and defense from both the teams and in Super Bowl XLVIII if you see Peyton Manning throw duck - observe his response. He might blame the wind.
Gone with the wind!!!

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” 
― Mark Twain

What do you think about winning ?Do share your thoughts.

Go win
Sivakumar Manikanteswaran




2 comments:

  1. “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
    ― Mark Twain
    So if you Alzheimer disease and you lie, then would your remember everything?

    ReplyDelete
  2. How will you know if you are telling the truth or lying if you have Alzheimer's?

    Remembering or Forgetting facts means you know what the facts are!!!

    ReplyDelete